Dream Journal

08 oct 2020 ~ I lived in a cooperative movie set (everyone's "unit" was 3-walled, one large shared kitchen, wide concrete aisles like Costco). One day I tried to cook for myself in the shared kitchen but everything set on fire. I grabbed a fire extinguisher from the top of the fridge and snow came out of the extinguisher (at the speed and sound of falling snow). The fire went out and the snow piled up, then a child who had never seen snow before pulled their bed into the rising banks, built their unit around it, and treated the fire as purposeful as snow continued to fall

24 sep 2020 ~ a formless being lived inside of my tooth and gave me cavities for skylights. I opened wide to let light in

21 sep 2020 ~ A teenager emailed my sister asking to be her book intern (I tried to ask what a book intern is but no one would tell me). My mom and I traveled to chicago to help my sister set up a folding table on the sidewalk outside of her apartment for the book intern to sit. we spent the day moving books from her apartment to the table (we were basically setting up a free lending library and the "book intern" was going to tend to it). my mom cut up my bedsheets to make a table cloth but didn't realize they were my bedsheets and I didn't tell her because i didn't want her to feel bad. while all of this was happening i felt deeply fearful and it was never revealed why, only that i was alone in the fear

It was then revealed that all of the above was a dream within a dream, and i was suddenly recounting the dream-dream to a group of brooding people on a playground while i looked down on them from the top of the monkey bars like i had something to prove

20 sep 2020 ~ I was on a field trip/"campus tour" of a landscape that was green and mountainous but had a lot of houses (which started out as "senior houses" at wesleyan, one of which looked like the u.s. capitol but colorful, then dissolved into an unaffiliated neighborhood of houses). it felt like the pacific northwest meets rural connecticut meets the ohio suburb where i was born

the entire time I had very low blood sugar or something, like a permanent head rush, and I kept half-fainting and couldn't keep up with the group. everyone piled into a shuttle van on a mountain top while I stumbled through the parking lot, someone slid the door open and asked if I was coming on the flute tour, I said yes and struggled to reach the van but finally i did

the flute tour? i asked but no one answered. basically the flute tour was like a driving garden tour of houses along this road, but everyone was synesthetic and gardens sounded like flutes. so we were flower-watching but understood it as a tour of flute sounds

we drove past a particular house and i suddenly realized i'd been there before. it was a one story house with pink flowers in the front and i shouted to the driver please pull over i've been here before but he didn't hear because i made no sound

10 sep 2020 ~ extremely brief dream in which I received a single message on slack that I tried to respond to when I woke up

08 sep 2020 ~ 1) i drew everyone on my instagram close friends list as a flower

2) a friend went to see an available room at my old apartment and messaged me saying she liked it then asked what the rent was. i realized i had been fully aware that the room was filled weeks ago and had no idea how I'd let the situation go this far

04 sep 2020 ~ i'm driving with my mother through winding, forested offroads (her in the driver's seat, me in the passenger's). I keep trying to make conversation but she's relatively unresponsive. I take the hint and stop trying so hard, though I take it personally and symbolically. we take an exit, which is an endless spiral of highway exits where everyone is driving backwards and it starts to rain hard. mid spiral my mother blurts out "i have no memories of you as a child" and starts to hydroplane while still in a backwards spiral. i shout that it's okay, that she's not the only mother who feels this way, then finally she's able to pull the car over.

across the road, which has flooded to the point of being a river, i see a man who looks like my family friend but i recognize as michael phelps waiting for his son to be airlifted from the side of the road because his son is too cold. these mysterious people in a magical tollbooth put michael phelps in a hot tub while he waits but he is not relaxed in the hot tub

I swim across the river-road to investigate and shout across to my mom that maybe we can also be airlifted out of here, but I know we won't because we're not famous though i want to reassure her nonetheless. my mom suddenly has my baby cousin in her arms who she says is the reincarnation of her late sister and floats the baby to me. the water mostly supports her head, and when I try to support her head i fumble and she coughs. finally i collect myself enough to hold her properly, and for the rest of the dream i stand in chest-deep water with the baby in my arms while rain keeps coming down